“Great decision-making comes from the ability to create the time and space to think rationally and intelligently about the issue at hand”.
Graham Allcott
Those who have studied his life credit George Washington with not showing any public temper. His manner of judgment and self-command bewildered many. Yet, he was not so in his earlier years. He made himself so later in life.
He changed. He re-calibrated his thinking and assimilated a new paradigm. He shifted his paradigm not only in displaying his public expressions but also in adopting a verse as his life mantra: “In the calm light of mild philosophy.”
The point here is not about his mantra but the changes he consistently worked on incorporating into his life anew each day.
Even Thomas Jefferson, who often openly fought with Washington, said the man never acted “until every circumstance, every consideration was maturely weighed.” He had all the initial reactions we all do but he tried to put every situation up for a kind of review. Always searching for a better light to explain and understand it.
That is Washington’s. What is your story?
We know that between every stimulus and its response, every piece of information, and our decision, there exists a space. There is a gap. It is a brief at that, quite briefer depending on the situation. But it is there. One with enough room to insert our philosophy, our values, and our principles.
"The pause is everything. The temporary stop to think, to weigh your options, to determine your next move is as critical as making the decision. Maybe even more."
Responsibility, popularly defined as “Response-Ability” by Stephen R. Covey in his book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ is a classic expression of our ability to utilize this gap.
We are ‘response able’ for each decision and choice we make. Yet this responsibility is present and exercised in this space between cause and effect, in between stimulus and our response.
Will we use it? The answer is a resounding ‘YES!’. However, will we use it to think and examine, use it to wait for more information? Or will we succumb to our old-fashioned patterns, first impressions, and harmful instincts?
This is the base determinant! What will we do with the space between your child disobeying you and your response? What will you do with the gap between receiving an enticing offer to repurpose your hard-earned money and doing it?
All decisions are distilled down to this point. Our actions in this space will determine how we respond. As Ryan Holiday puts it in his book ‘Discipline is Destiny’:
The pause is everything. The temporary stop to think, to weigh your options, to determine your next move is as critical as making the decision. Maybe even more.
The one before …
…jumping to conclusions
…prejudging
…assuming the worst
…rushing to solve your children’s problems for them (or put them back to sleep)
…forcing problem into some kind of box
…assigning blame
… taking offense
…turning away in fear
And I would add;
…using your money
…saying no or yes to a question
…giving up
…rejecting an offer to develop yourself (this I have made personal for your sake)
Do not let your fear or anxiety, prejudice, excitement, desperacy, or esteem (high or low) decide for you. Don’t let your temper decide. Let your temperament take over. Or rather, let the temperament you are endeavoring to have, that you know your growth demands do its job.
"Either way, you will need to respond, and this gap is the determinant of how you will, but even more engraining is that it will determine who you will become."
A leader like you can’t make decisions on impulse. “You must lead from somewhere more rational, more controlled than that. This is not to say that the temptation to act on our impulses won’t come. It is that we will remain disciplined enough to not act on them. Not until we have tested them, or passed them through the fire, through the light.”
Ryan Holiday.
It’s no secret that life is going to through so much to you as it did to the likes of Washington, Paul (of the Bible), and others.
The question is: How are you going to respond to all of it? How firm are you in control of the light you use to test all your responses? Either way, you will need to respond, and this gap is the determinant of how you will, but even more engraining is that it will determine who you will become.
Here are some action points. Things you can consider before making your decisions. You can run through these in that space;
Here are some tips for making good decisions:
- Ask questions: Ask lots of questions and don’t let your emotions or wishful thinking get in the way.
- Consider all sides: Remember that there are two sides to every story.
- Avoid premature decisions: Consider if the pressure of time is forcing you to make a decision too early.
- Get guidance: Sometimes it’s better to talk to people and ask for their advice.
- Have adequate information: Make sure you have the knowledge and information you need to make a good decision. This is always a game-changer.
Was this helpful? Please write to us here.
The best work done by Victor Frankl and quoted by Ryan Holiday is his book “Discipline is Destiny.”
