Dating: Like Investing, How Much You Put In Determines How Much It’ll Hurt When It Ends – Pt. 3

It is impressive that you have made it thus far. This is a sign that this is important to you. You want to make the right choices. To avoid getting your head into the clouds. You are on the right track. These truths will lead you to the best path toward having a wonderful time dating and eventually, marriage.

Moving on to the next area of concern;

Physical Investment

Here is the cream of the crop. At least for one of you or luckily enough for both of you – for the moment. The more you invest in a dating relationship physically, the more it will rip you apart when it ends. This is no hypothesis. It is a practical truth.

Different people invest physically for various reasons;

1. To feel accepted.

2. To keep the relationship going.

3. To feel connected.

4. To please themselves or the other person.

But the further you delve, the more hurtful it will be. As you have begun, so shall you be expected to keep it. Do you see how unfortunate this is? Imagine holding the relationship afloat physically. Whenever you are not able to, it crushes down.

Normally, it starts so subtly with honest handshakes and hugs that quickly molt into sexually cued hugs, kisses, foreplay, and then THUD! Culminates in sex. Your actual ‘crush’ materializes, or should I say ‘manifests’? Didn’t you see it coming? Of course, you were so focused on giving it your all that you didn’t stop to think. That was your ruin – not thinking. If you push it sexually, it will destroy you emotionally. What else remains that’s yours/personal? At this point, everything is laid bare in public (even though you don’t feel so right now).

When you get to this point, all you can hope for is that it does not end. Well, that itself is a great motivator to try and keep them with that same thing – sex. The only thing that you do not realize is this; you keep burying yourself deeper into emotional devastation.

Sex creates a soul connection. One that will remain forever. That was God’s doing. So you can imagine. You will have to live with this reality. You will become a number.

For most ladies (and other men), compromising on sex is a risk they take hoping to feel special or mold the relationship into something special. The problem is that this is not the case. When it is done, the other person will get on with another person and get that same sex you thought and held special.

I would liken it to coming to his throne with a sex/physical offering hoping to be retained as his one and only Queen (wife) only to find out that your offering is taken and used up or given to the servants and you end up thrown out of the throne room. When you get outside, you find other hopeful singles lined up with the same hope you had. You then walk away feeling like you have a big signpost attached to your back saying ‘USED UP‘. It is a saddening encounter.

You should realize that your date can always get sex from any other person (if that’s what they are after). There is nothing special about sex when it is the only thing that keeps the relationship going. It loses its value. Instead, it obtains another function – it becomes a tool, a means to an end, or a joyride.

Come to think of it, how’d you feel when he goes on to take up your friend or someone you cannot stand for a partner? Because the same thing you do together will be the same things they will do.

Many girls will say, ‘I even gave my body to him. How could he be so heartless.’ That will never keep a mature man. The inverse is also true, no woman will be kept because of sex (unless they have already lost their pride and self-esteem). If they promised never to leave you because of that, start preparing for blue ribbon tearing.

When you decide to lose reality, to forget it, it will do its due diligence and find a way to wake you up.

Not only that, they will also compare you to the others. Have you ever heard someone say, ‘I have never met someone like you.’ It’s true. You are different alright, only never ask how.

You can control your physical indulgence. You can measure how far it goes. Know that if you give yourself physically in the relationship you will feel stupid, used, dirty, and alone when it ends. There is nothing you can do to stop those feelings after it has happened.

The only way to come out of the relationship feeling proud and strong is to not give in physically. Don’t compromise. Stay physically fit.

See you in the next series – Part 4.