How much you put into that dating relationship will determine how much it’ll hurt when it ends.
Normally, when investing your money, you show a certain level of cautiousness. You research, ask around, find proofs, examine the past, present, and foretell what the future looks like. All this is done for a single investment. Even so, after you have done all this and obtained substantial information about it, you rarely put in every dollar/shilling you have. That would be stupid! Your don’t need an expert’s advice to know that it would be foolish to devote your entire savings into any kind of investment, however promising it might be.
Yet, this seems not to be the case when it comes to dating. Instead, we devote our entire existence into a ‘crush’, and when it tears us apart we levy blames left, right, centre, including toward God above. Poor us!
You can’t help it. They (your guy/missy) have become more important to you than anyone else in the world. This is a major heartbreak brewing! You’ll not sense it but when the blow lands, it’ll squarely score as a major KO! It will always hurt as much as it was invested.
The cautiousness, the research, the minimalism (in terms of expending ourselves) appears to be quashed as futile and so shall they remain until it’s foresight changes to hindsight.
The much you invest is the much you lose when the date doesn’t go through. This is a simple equation. Just like in business; when investing is a company, you need sure be ready to lose the same amount you have invested in the company. It goes on without saying that you will equally lose what you put out.
There is no way you will ever lose what you did not have. Beats the purpose of losing itself. When I have nothing, I lose nothing. When I have something, I lose something.
In dating, you invest emotionally, physically, socially, spiritually and ‘all’ically’, whatever that means.
So, when it doesn’t work out, do not rush to God crying and blaming Him for allowing this to happen. This will be all your doing. All that pain and hurt is because you put in way to much into a ‘crush’. The name itself (‘crush’) speaks volume of what is almost always expected.
Let us explore the areas often invested;
Socially Invested
It’s always amazing to see how this unfolds. You meet them for the first time – a stranger in the beginning – and not so long into the relationship you become almost inseparable. You cannot do anything without them. You eat together, play together, take walks, study, clean together, chat the whole day, make long calls and video calls during the day and especially in the night. It’s heaven for the two of you. You cannot imagine spending the next few hours without hearing their voice or responding to their chats. You’d rather ignore your parent’s call so that you can finish up your luscious conversations. When you sleep, wake up, work, or travel, all you can think about is them. Poor you!
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Familiar?
Everything revolves around them. You cannot help but ignore your friends; not out of conscious willingness but it’s just the way it happens. You can’t help it. They (your guy/missy) have become more important to you than anyone else in the world. This is a major heartbreak brewing! You’ll not sense it but when the blow lands, it’ll squarely score as a major KO! It will always hurt as much as it was invested.
By this time you have no other friends (or somehow do not have those you regularly meet and chat with) for they faded out gradually and so you are on this game without anyone else on your corner.
Timeout: In the sports of boxing, a boxer needs the help, guidance, and advice of his/her corner man. Between rounds, a corner man holds the boxer true to the game plan, when adrenaline, trauma, exhaustion or fear has sapped the boxer of his focus. No boxer can do well without their corner man.
When the knockout lands, you’ll have no one to support you! Even worse, when this happens, it’ll be intensified by the fact that you do not have anything else to do – you always did everything with your crush, who is now MIA. Doom! Disaster! That’s what next.
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Familiar?
Yet, all this can be under control when you realize that a date isn’t meant to last. Eventually, you might need to move on. Having this mindset, you will create time for the two of you and at the same time spare time for yourself and your buddies. You will seek a social balance.
This is what you need! Create a social balance around you so that when this dream you hold high and heavenly drops and splatters like a crate of eggs, you will still have a life to live.
How much have you invested socially?
Do you have your corner man?
Click here for Part 3 of the dating series.
